40 pounds...finally!

It's been a slow month for weight loss. I actually have not gotten to the gym at all. Part of it is because we are so busy, but I know part of it is psychological, too.

I'm only one pound heavier than I was when Benny died. Like I said, it's a psychological, very personal thing for me, but it's very real. I have so few "real" connections left to him, and while it may sound funny to many or even strange or dumb, it's not that way for me. I miss him, and subconsciously, I think I'm trying NOT to lose weight. I've done this before...gotten close and then gained it all back. The good thing with the lapband is that I can't even if I try!! If I try to eat too fast or too much, my stomach says, "Hey, stupid...did you forget you can't do that anymore?"

I did have an appointment last week. I lost 12 pounds since last month's appointment, so even though I didn't work out, I'm still losing. I'm probably only eating around 1,000 calories a day, but am what they call in "the green zone", meaning there's just the right amount of fluid in my band so that after I eat, I'm not hungry (physically, still have "head" hunger). I only have 1 cc in my 10 cc band, which is very small, but it's different for everyone.

Overall, I feel really pretty good. My knees and hips barely ever hurt. I seem to have a little more energy. My back feels pretty good.

I'm almost half way to my goal. I wanted to lose about 90 lbs, and I'm 40.5 lbs closer! I never thought I could do this, but it's happening! Still, I have 50 lbs to go, so I need to get back to that gym!!

Photo update

OK, these are not the best photos, but thought I'd update my blog. I've lost about 33 lbs so far. I've struggled the past week or so with getting and keeping food down, but it seems a little better the past few days.

Update following unfill

Well, eating still seems to be a little challenge. It's getting a tad bit frustrating not to eat a "normal" food. Last night I came home and John had made some barbequed beef that smelled so good. I picked out the smaller pieces and lots of BBQ sauce and poured it over a slice of bread. I do not get much fiber in, so thought it was time to try a good slice of 12 grain bread.

Well, about three bites into it and it got stuck. I had to get to the bathroom and get sick. I was so hungry and was sick of cottage cheese, one food that goes down well. I just started crying, as this process just takes a lot out of you. You have to pay incredibly close attention to every detail of food, and it gets very tiring when the food gets stuck and you have to get it out. I ended up having about 1/2 cup of refried beans, enchilada sauce and a little cheese. While high in protein, it's also high in carbs, which I'm trying to keep down. What mattered though was that I was able to get and keep some food in!

The one thing that has been going well is exercising. I'm generally getting about 45-60 minutes of cardio activity in about five days per week. Today I burned 600 caolories during my one hour workout, which was good, because I also ordered a thin crust pizza and ate about 1/2 of it! For some reason, the thin crust pizza goes down well, too. Not a good choice, but I did burn it all off and then some!

I can feel the difference in my clothes now. I do get into size 1x tops and the 2x are baggy, so that's good. Still not ready to try to get into the next size down in pants until the current size is baggy. I just don't want to struggle to get in them, have to "peel" them off and then be bummed because I'm not there, yet.

We are planning a cruise for June, so there's one motivating factor for me to keep it up. I'd also like to get tested to be a kidney donor for my niece, Erica, but need to have a BMI less than 30. I started with about a 42 BMI and that is down to 37, so I'm on my way.

Well, that's all for now. Katie has strep and I'm feeling that horrible ache in my neck and head, which is my sign that it may be coming my way. Just what I need...another thing to inhibit any food from getting down to my stomach!! :)

Quick update

Last Thursday, I was on my way home from work and started having massive chest pains. I drove myself to the ER, afraid I was having a heart attack. After several hours of testing, everything came back negative. While they wanted to keep me overnight for testing, I chose to go home, John and I were heading to San Francisco in the morning.

We went to San Francisco, and while the chest pain was pretty much non-existent, the vomiting and instances of the food getting stuck increased quite a bit. Poor John even stood by me outside the Holiday Inn where I got sick in their bushes after eating breakfast!

Well, I had a checkup today, and they made an adjustment and removed half of the fluid in my band. They said the chest pain and vomiting are classic signs of a band that is too tight as is weight gain. I'm up a few pounds while eating less than 1,000 calories/day AND working out 1-1/2hours/day. So, I now only have 1cc in a 10cc band. She said this should actually help me lose weight a little easier, too. According to their records, I'm down 6.5 lbs this past month. I was actually down more, but with the vomiting and issues of the past week, put on a little due to the bodies method of trying to prevent starvation!

I'm back on track and got in a good workout tonight, so hopefully food will stay down a little bit better this coming week, too. I was back on liquids today and then to soft foods tomorrow. This is common after having an adjustment, because it allows the swelling to go down.

That's all for now!

30 POUNDS DOWN!

I finally hit the 30 pound loss point. It will flutter up and down a little before I move forward, but I DID see it on the scale this morning.

I've been working out 4-5 days a week and increasing the intensity. I do the elliptical, treadmill and tour bike. I have not started lifting weights, yet, but know I need to.

The biggest change the past week or two is the number of times food has gotten stuck, and I've had to go get sick to get it out. It's happened a few times at the restaurant with John. The biggest issue is not chewing my food well enough. I've noticed it also only happens when I skip a meal or a snack and get overly hungry. I just eat too fast and then it gets stuck. I go to the bathroom, throw it up, and continue to try to eat at a much slower pace. It hurts when the food gets stuck, so there's definitely incentive to eat slowly!

Believe it or not, I'm still in the same size of clothes as when I started. There are some that are too big to wear, and I still have some I can't get into! I won't even try the next size down until I can wear all of this size first!

Not much new

It's been a week of transitions. The adjustment (tightening of the band) seems to have a mind of it's own. One day, I can eat nearly a whole small, thin crust pizza, and the next day, I take one bite of chicken, and I'm full or worse, throw up. I've had foods get "stuck" quite a bit this past week. I've even had to pull over in the car when I took a bite of a taco, and it got stuck, so I could throw up and get it unstuck.

I'm working out 4-5 days per week and am really starting to look forward to my hour alone. It's the only "my" time I get these days. I put on my headphones and blast the music. My only problem is trying to squeeze in the workout when John's out of town.

FINALLY! 25lbs gone for good!

Wow, the last five pounds have taken over a month to get rid of. Anyone who says the lapband is the "easy" way out is SOOOOOO incredibly wrong. In some ways, it's harder than normal dieting.

When they say the lapband is a "tool", it is just that. It's not different than someone taking diet pills or doing some other diet. The key remains EXERCISE and EATING HEALTHY. That's it, pure and simple!

I started a new program that came free with the lapband surgery called Lindora LTC. It's an online program based on a very successful medical idea. It's a high protein, low carb diet, but it also offers live phone support, extensive education, daily motivators, online charts and action guides and so much more. The key to the program is to get your body into a state of ketosis, which basically means you reduce the carbs, which are your body's main source of energy, to a level such that the body runs out of carbs and starts burning the fat in your cells for energy.

I started the program this weekend. Surprisingly, the program starts on only 900 calories/day, but I have more energy and feel much less hungry than I have since the surgery. We'll see how it goes, but so far, I'm impressed. I have my first phone consultation with a Lindora TLC nurse today.

Yeah! I reached my first goal, which was to lose 25 lbs!